I’ve never known a purer heartache
than being told that I am not loved.
and that I never was,
by someone I loved more than anything.
I did everything.
I invested so much.
So much time.
So many months and days and hours that you were my whole world.
And it turns out I was nothing.
The nightmare of devoting myself to someone that didn’t even truly want me.
How could I let this happen.
I thought I was better than that,
always.
Apparently I am not above it.

I don’t see how I could ever love again.
I couldn’t put myself through it.
I am finished.
I immediately felt the light and electricity in my heart fizzle out.
I felt death of myself that I have never known possible.

I never want to be a bitter person. I’m trying so hard to change and stay positive. But as far as letting a man or love in, I believe that was it for me. I can not ever do it again. I won’t. I am too destroyed and humiliated.

I feel dead inside.
But then I remember…I’m not.

There’s a life growing inside of me. And I feel sorry that the poor little baby has to be stuck in my terribly sad body right now. I want to feel better for its sake. I have just never felt this. My confidence has never been so low. And this is the worst time to feel that way, I know. This little life is the only thing that can save me from completely losing myself. And for that and nothing else I’m hanging on.
Xo

Anonymous asked: Love your blog. You are a very pretty woman and you inspire me to dress up more and try different makeup. What do you suggest as lip wear for someone who is self conscious of her teeth? Thanks dear!

Hello! Thank you so much. What is it you don’t like about your teeth? I’m sure they are cute teeth no matter what! I believe you can wear any lipwear. My favorite for every day is a light pink lipstick. I don’t wear glosses much so I dunno, that’s what I would choose :)